Thank you

Guess who finished reading another English book:D?? yes, humbly, it's me:D I can't describe how happy I feel about it..It's been long, like really long since a book captured..my senses...:)

I borrowed this book from a dear friend of mine about a year ago, only read few pages at first...waited for the reading-mood to kick in but it was all lost...so I left it...came back again after some time, still no result:(

Apparently, all i needed is self-determination that I actually love reading and, to be honest, I really missed it:)

Joyce, has had an accident and somehow she has all this knowledge of stuff she never knew about before. A sense of Deja vu everywhere she goes. And she can't explain it. And there is Justin, now divorced, who has this constant feeling of something missing inside of him. It's too powerful what a "thank you" letter can do...

It is a lovely read if you are into romance:)

Right now, the next book I want to read is Daddy-Long-Legs. A book I never knew it existed. The story of one of my favorite childhood cartoons, Judy Abbott.

Thank you

Have I Ever told You That??

I was browsing online when I found this. An anonymous wrote it as his/her secret that s/he never told anyone before, and it's simply breathtaking!!

S/He wrote: "You're beautiful. Everything about you is mesmerizing, you have no imperfections because anything that could be imperfect about you makes you that much more perfect. There's not one thing I would change about you. Ever. I just thought you should know that."

How sweet!

Have I Ever told You That??

I wish...

Life sucks!

Feels weird to hear myself saying this, because I always loved life! But I think we all have our moments where we wish things happen differently, or wish that we live in another life where impossible things ARE possible! Well, today is one of those "sucky" days...

Why am writing about this? I guess am tired of holding it inside...

Many things in mind, so tell me,,talk about what..friendship?? or love??

How long has it been?? 4 years. What happened?? I don't know! Life took us into different paths..met new people..showed us different sides of ourselves that we didn't know they even exist. Broken pieces can be brought back together?? I know, but, now I am wondering if there is any point! So?? So nothing! I just miss our old days,,when we were together! Miss them so bad.

**Letter 1: You know, today, I wanted to write..desperately..but I didn't know WHERE to write because our little notebook that we shared was gone!

**Letter 2: Next time, I am going to tell you how I exactly feel, even if it meant hurting you, because ,now,"this" is noway to feel!! For both of us!!

**Letter 3: I wish I could make the impossible, possible! You tell me life isn't fair?? I know:(

**Letter 4: Please, see me, the way I want you to see me..Feel me, the way I want you to feel me.. And don't try to make me change!! Am beautiful in every sense of the word, exactly the way I am, so please, just accept me.

I wish...

A Try,,

Hey…
You might have read my post (Why?) about my inability to show my love to the people I love… well am still trying,,, no difference till now,,,
Anyway, one of my friends gave me this small book called “Don’t sweat the small stuff,,, and it’s all small stuff” by Richard Carlson and she said: “you can keep it till the next depressed person comes on the way:) ”
The book has very small chapters of (I would call them advices) on how to look differently at things…

Anyway, cutting long stories short, I read this under: Tell Three People (Today) How Much You Love Them:


Author Stephen Levine asks the question, “If you had an hour to live and could make only one phone call- who would you call, what would you say, and why are you waiting?”
What a powerful message!
Who knows what we are waiting for? Perhaps we want to believe we will live forever, or that “someday” we will get around to telling the people we love how much we love them. Whatever the reasons, most of us simply wait too long.
As fate would have it, I’m writing this strategy on my grandmother’s birthday. Later today, my father and I are driving out to visit her grave site. She died about two years ago. Before she passed away, it became obvious how important it was to her to let her family know how much she loved us all. It was a good remainder that there is no good reason to wait. Now is the time to let people know how much you care.
Ideally, you can tell someone in person or over the phone. I wonder how many people have been on the receiving end of a phone call where the caller says, “I just called to tell you how much I love you!” You may be surprised that almost nothing in the world means so much to a person. How would you like to receive the same message?
If you are too shy to make such a phone call, write a heartfelt letter instead. Either way, you may find that as you get used to it, letting people know how much you love them will become a regular part of your life. It probably won’t shock you to know that, if it does, you will probably begin receiving more love as a result.



Okay, for a start, I wrote 5 letters till now:) : 2 for my parents, the remaining 3 for my brothers and sister ( I swear my brother’s response would be “LMAO” but, anyway:D)
They are coming tomorrow. Will see what happens:)


UPDATE:
dady hugged me:)
mom told me, smiling, that she was scared at the beggining,,she thot am in some sort of trouble, as always:D
my bro loved it and hanged it on the wall in his room:)
the others just laughed and said; r7meena:p

A Try,,

Why???

Why is it so hard to let people know how much you value them??

Why is it so hard to give sweet kisses for people because you want to, not because you have to??

Why is it so hard to just say " I love you" directly in the face when you really feel like saying it??

I don't know what is the situation with you, but it wasn't long time ago when I realised that I havn't told my parents before that I love them..I never kissed my sisters, brothers, freinds or anyone unless I had to, or it was "the thing" to do (like coming back home, or Eids, birthdays, etc.)!!!!

It might not seem a big deal but have you ever encountered a situation where you felt that you really want to show your love and affections for some people but couldn't do it??!!

In the past mother's day, when I greeted my mom, I literally couldn't say a single word!!! And all I did is crying!!! not that I was so emotion-full (but not that I wasn't either) but because I couldn't let the words come out of me :(

I felt depressed and sad for myself (and for her because she definately was expecting something out of me)...I wanted to tell her that I love her, that I am thankful for everything she did and does for me, for being always supportive, and that i always pray for Allah to keep her and dad for me...but the chicken me didn't get the courage to talk!

Another instance was a month ago,,when my family came to my hometown for the weekend,,my dad said to me as soon as we met that he was watching a program on tv ( I don't know what the show was about) but he felt that he want to kiss and hug all his kids,,but because he was in Muscat, am in Sohar, my brother and sister were somewhere in the world, he couldn't..and he bacame so tearfull and me.....just froze!!!!!

I hated myself at that moment..I wanted to hug him but I didn't :(

No wonder my parents say am "a dry/emotionless" kid..

And the list continues..but the funny thing is when you kiss people you just met (like they are your friend's freind) when you feel nothing about them and you can't do it for people who deserve/desire it..

I can no longer use the excuse: "I am not used to it"!!!

I think am old enough to make certain changes in my life...

Its just that I don't know why I don't have the power to do it :(

Why???

Guilt...

I don't deserve to be loved!!!

I have a dark past and its hunting me!! and no matter what i do, and whenever i think i've passed it, something just appears in front of me that destroys everything i've been trying to build:-(

I strongly need to forget...

I wish i can throw everything behind...

for years, i beleived that one's past is part of who you are.. I beleived that the past helps you to become the person you are right now,,

I never regreted my mistakes coz I wouldn't be the same person I am right now without them..untill now:-(

I dnt know...when i do them, they just feel right at that time,,i think this is natural,,that's why i dnt regret them because they were nice then and gave me a good feeling and meant something.. and wen they turn on to be bad,,then just try to correct, forget them and move on...

but, wt to do wen it just start chasing u??!!!

wallah i regret it now..a lot..

i just want to live in peace!!!

but wen that thing that runs behind u is loyality!!!

smthing u never kept,,and it is keeping u...

God how much i dislike myself:-S

I dnt deserve to be loved...at all!!

Guilt...

Doesn't feel good..

once, i critisized sm1 (lets say S) bcz S was using my own words but in a different contest...like today we will talk and tomorrow we talk again and S will use some unique words of me from yesterdays conversation!!!

It kept going on and on..and i got pissed of!!! for nothing but i want S to actually talk to me from all their hearts and minds and imagination instead of using others' words!! and much worse, mine!!

Anyway, as they say: days go around,, and now i find myself imitating one of my dearest friend's words just like that!!! and i didnt notice till sm1 actually brought it to my attention that i added few words to my dictionary...

now, my qs is: is it an act of love that you keep saying one's words unconsciously?? probably when u get sooo much attached to sm1, it just happens that u find yrslf talking in that one's way using that one's words! probably bcz u spnd much time talking to that person and u just dnt realise it?!!

and now that i had these thoughts in my mind, i find that i may have been wrong in my judgment about S..mayb after all, it was an act of love and attachment to start acting and talking like the person u like much unconsciously!!



i guess i owe S an apology.

Doesn't feel good..