Why is it so hard to let people know how much you value them??Why is it so hard to give sweet kisses for people because you want to, not because you have to??
Why is it so hard to just say " I love you" directly in the face when you really feel like saying it??
I don't know what is the situation with you, but it wasn't long time ago when I realised that I havn't told my parents before that I love them..I never kissed my sisters, brothers, freinds or anyone unless I had to, or it was "the thing" to do (like coming back home, or Eids, birthdays, etc.)!!!!
It might not seem a big deal but have you ever encountered a situation where you felt that you really want to show your love and affections for some people but couldn't do it??!!
In the past mother's day, when I greeted my mom, I literally couldn't say a single word!!! And all I did is crying!!! not that I was so emotion-full (but not that I wasn't either) but because I couldn't let the words come out of me :(
I felt depressed and sad for myself (and for her because she definately was expecting something out of me)...I wanted to tell her that I love her, that I am thankful for everything she did and does for me, for being always supportive, and that i always pray for Allah to keep her and dad for me...but the chicken me didn't get the courage to talk!
Another instance was a month ago,,when my family came to my hometown for the weekend,,my dad said to me as soon as we met that he was watching a program on tv ( I don't know what the show was about) but he felt that he want to kiss and hug all his kids,,but because he was in Muscat, am in Sohar, my brother and sister were somewhere in the world, he couldn't..and he bacame so tearfull and me.....just froze!!!!!
I hated myself at that moment..I wanted to hug him but I didn't :(
No wonder my parents say am "a dry/emotionless" kid..
And the list continues..but the funny thing is when you kiss people you just met (like they are your friend's freind) when you feel nothing about them and you can't do it for people who deserve/desire it..
I can no longer use the excuse: "I am not used to it"!!!
I think am old enough to make certain changes in my life...
Its just that I don't know why I don't have the power to do it :(
