I wish...

Life sucks!

Feels weird to hear myself saying this, because I always loved life! But I think we all have our moments where we wish things happen differently, or wish that we live in another life where impossible things ARE possible! Well, today is one of those "sucky" days...

Why am writing about this? I guess am tired of holding it inside...

Many things in mind, so tell me,,talk about what..friendship?? or love??

How long has it been?? 4 years. What happened?? I don't know! Life took us into different paths..met new people..showed us different sides of ourselves that we didn't know they even exist. Broken pieces can be brought back together?? I know, but, now I am wondering if there is any point! So?? So nothing! I just miss our old days,,when we were together! Miss them so bad.

**Letter 1: You know, today, I wanted to write..desperately..but I didn't know WHERE to write because our little notebook that we shared was gone!

**Letter 2: Next time, I am going to tell you how I exactly feel, even if it meant hurting you, because ,now,"this" is noway to feel!! For both of us!!

**Letter 3: I wish I could make the impossible, possible! You tell me life isn't fair?? I know:(

**Letter 4: Please, see me, the way I want you to see me..Feel me, the way I want you to feel me.. And don't try to make me change!! Am beautiful in every sense of the word, exactly the way I am, so please, just accept me.

I wish...

Thoughts

The place is empty!!

it's really creepy..Maybe after all,,I no longer want to try to be in this place..my love for adventures, for something new, something different does no longer drive me like it used to do!!And probably, am no longer hiding behind that cool calm girl..I guess it's just me..It has been me all along..

As it will always be.

Thoughts

No title..

well,,i feel awkward to even write this!! It has been ,,ever,,since i last blogged..but what happened today was very interesting!!

i was going to meet some frnds out,,but i needed to go to the garage to pick mom's car first. So, dad drove me there..he got mom's car..and we exchanged places..

the car has been there for few days and it had no gas!! the mechanic said that it had ENOUGH to reach a petrol station and fill it up..well i guess u know what happened next:D

i was held behind by traffic lights,,when the car suddenly started shaking!!!

it looked like its soul is about to leave:p and at the moment that the light was green, it just went off!!!

i was the 1st car in the line!!

ppl were looking at me,,mad ofcourse,,but what could i do?!!

i cud actually see them peeking at me with that look on their faces: oh ofcourse it is a girl driving!!

luckily, my dad was following me:) he wanted to make sure that i reach a petrol station,,so i just got out and went to wait in his car,,he was so mad at the mechanic for leaving the car like that..every1 was looking!! it was very embarrassing!!

but now that i look at it..what happened made me see a bigger picture of what i might be facing by driving alone!!Its risky!! Its not only abt driving and speeding and being independant anymore!!

if dad wasn't there, i wud'v probbly called him and then burst into cry:-S

i'v always been adventurous,,but this wud'v been scary!!

thats why i wanted to learn some mechanical skills,,basic ones,,at least i shud know by now to keep a bottle of gas in the trunk AND shud know HOW to fill the tank 1stly if not to change tires..but who wud teach me anyway:/ when i asked my bro, he laughed and said: u dnt hv to do that..just sit quietly in yr place,,call some1,,lock the doors o just wait!!

i met my frnds afterwards and told them the story:)

it was a nice day tho:)

now i need to go finish packing for this weekends picnic..we r going to Mosandam^_^

No title..

Scattered Thoughts

Its Sunday, 12:55 pm, and am sitting in the lecture hall in my second day of school after a week of holiday, and so many things are running throughout my brain (srry :-S it's: throughout my mind...I don't think i'll be blamed to use the word"brain" instead of "mind" after the neurobiology course;-) ).

Anyway, starting with my holiday, it was simply awful!


It all started with me sitting in Sohar on Wednesday waiting for my family to come for the weekend (cz am originally from Sohar). However, because the next Tuesday and Wednesday were announced to be a prophets birth day holiday, they decided to come only for the holiday. By the time I got to know the change in their plans, everyone who was supposed to go Muscat (where my family lives) on Wed has gone already:-(

This way I was stuck in Sohar without my parents, brothers, or sisters when am finally having a holiday!!!And just to notice, I didnt go to Muscat for over 2 months during the neuro course!!


Anyway, I went on Friday but because of the upcoming prophet holiday, I only stayed there till Monday and came back with my family to spend the holiday at my hometown!

I didn't do any of the things I planned to do, which include: reading 4 books; two Arabic and two English books, practice solving 2 of the USMLEs exams( United States Medical Licensing Examination) to refresh my memory, learning few bits of photoshop( which I know nothing about at all!), visiting my friend at SQU, and finding a dress for my cousin's wedding. It's not that I didn't have time to do so, but when I felt that my plan was destroyed, I just couldn't adjust it, or was so pissed of the changes that I didnt feel like doing anything at all:-S

Moreover, my little 3 year old cousin came from Muscat with her dad to stay under my supervision for the holiday. I AM SO BAD WITH KIDS!She wakes up at 9 in the morning and I don't even hear her cry!And what would I do at 9???i am in a holiday people!!

And once, i was feeling really hot so i turned on the AC at night and the next morning, my little cousin mimi (as every1 calls her) was sick:-S

And another once;-), i was watching tv and she was playing next to me, and just after a whole hour, i noticed that she was not there! I looked in the house and didn't find her:-(

i went outside, looked in the nearby houses cz as a family, we stay next to each other, and found her with my aunt. Ofcourse, every1 knew that i lost her:-S

i can still remember my mother's blaming looks when she looked at me the minute she knew!

It just simply was a bad holiday,,not to mention that the house was full of people because of the holiday ,and thereby noisy, that you can't even find peace in your own room cz its occupied till 12am with people!!

I thought am gonna have a lot of fun coz the neuro was tiring,,not in terms of studying as I didn't do much but in terms of content. I do remember many things from the course (like the application part) but i think am lacking so many small bits of info that i REALLY need to know. One of my friends was telling me that even if she passed the course, she would ask the course director to do it again in summer cz she didn't get the knowledge she should have. Now, i feel that it might actually be a good idea to do so. After all, spending my summer vacation in college can be a real punishment , or encoragement for me to do better next times.

Anyway, I just finished preparing a study time table for human fuction course that will last for 4 months. This course is not going to be easy at all and I don't want to ignore it like I did for the other previous courses. I arranged to study with a new study partner, someone who is not my friend, cz studying with my friends is the last thing I would ever think of again for the rest of my life!! We always end up speaking about all sorts of topics other than studies!

I hope it goes well this time and hope also to enjoy the course!

Pray for me^_^

Scattered Thoughts