العيد..

من هنا مر العيد

ترى لماذا أصبح العيد يزورنا كالغريب

ويمر علينا مرور الكرام؟!! 

(١)

منذ سنوات

 كتبت مقالاً بعنوان

"تعالوا نجامل العيد"

وكنت جادة فيماكتبت

لإحساسي التام

بأن العيد

قد فقد أهميته لدى الكثيرين منا

وأصبحنا نفتح أبوابنا في وجهه

" كالضيف الثقيل"

ونستقبله فقط

من باب العادة.. والواجب!

(٢)

 لكن مَن منّا

نجح أن يجامل العيد

ويحسن استقباله باسماً

ويُكرِمه إكرام الضيف العزيز

ويقضي على إحساسه بالغربة

ليلة العيد

ويحرر نفسه من همومه وأحزانه

ليلة واحدة فقط

(٣)

ترى

مالذي تغير؟

نحن؟ أم العيد؟

ولماذا تخيم علينا في ليلة العيد

سحابة من الذكرى والحنين

ونعيش حالة الإفتقاد

والبحث عن شئ ما؟

(٤)

ففي ليلة العيد

تستيقظ كل المشاعر النائمة في داخلنا

والتي ظنناها قد لفظت أنفاسها إلى الأبد

وتطرق أبوابنا كل الوجوه المهاجرة

ويرتدي الحنين أجمل حُلله

وتتراقص الذكريات أمامنا

كالقتيل الحي

(٥)

وكأننا في ليلة العيد

نتعمد أن نتذكر كي نحزن

ونتعمد أن نحزن كي نفسد على أنفسنا

متعة الفرح

وكأن الرابط بيننا وبين الحزن ازداد قوة

فأصبحنا نتجاهل الفرح من باب الوفاء

للحزن

(٦)

لماذا لا نفرح؟

ولماذا نخبئ الفرح في صناديق مغلقة

 وندفنه في غياهب الجب؟

فهل أصبحنا نخاف الفرح؟

أم أن ثمن الفرح أصبح باهظاً

فأصبحنا إن فرحنا نفرح بالتقسيط

وأصبحنا إن فرحنا نتساءل

ماذا سيكون الثمن؟

(٧)

ولماذا أصبح الفرح يأتي ممزوجاً بالخوف

ونترقب بعد كل ضحكه نضحكها نبأً سيئاً

 ونردد بعد كل نوبة ضحك جميلة

اللهم اجعله خيراً

وكأن الفرح أصبح مقدمة مؤقتة وقصيرة

لنوباتٍ من الحزن الأسود؟

(٨)

 إذن

لابد أن نزرع كي نجني ما زرعناه

ولابد أن نتعامل مع الفرح بتفاؤل أكبر

وحماسةٍ أشدّ

ولابد أن نفي مناسباتنا الجميلة حقها من

الفرح

كي لا تطحن رحى الحزن أجمل أيامنا

أو تمتد يد الحزن إلى أعماقنا

 فتسرق لحظاتنا الجميلة

(٩)

جربوا لو مرّة واحدة

أن تفرحوا ليلة العيد

وجربوا

أن تحبوا الفرح بإخلاص

كي يقيم معكم بحب واطمئنان

وجربوا

أن تضحكوا من القلب

دون أن تضعوا أيديكم

على صدوركم

وترددوا بأسى

"اللهم اجعله خيراً"

(١٠)

وأخيراً

عيدكم مبارك

فمن هنا مر العيد

ومن هنا سيمر العيد دائماً

فالعيد كالأوفياء الصادقين

لا يخلف موعده

ولايهجرنا أبدا

لِ شهرزاد الخليج.

العيد..

Test

This is a test post to see if I can post from my mobile directly:)

Simple

Test

a lie is way better than the truth!

Is it too much to ask for a little bit of understanding to my mental status now?!!!!!!

I don't want your sympathy! I don't want your pity! I don't want you to freaking tell me "come ooooon, it's the truth"! you think I don't know the truth???!!! Or worse "you brought it on yourself"!!! #ShootMe

lie to me!

I am serious..lie to me!

am not stupid, I can tell that you are lying and you know that I understand that clearly...so why not?! It's definitely better than the ugly truth!

For the first time in my life, I can't be happy.. I can't "feel" happy.. or pretend that everything is going to turn out "just" great because it effin' isn't! I am drowned into a deep state of depression that writing here is all I have left!

If you are not going to make me "feel" happy, don't bother talking! Don't make it worse! You awe me, at least, this much.

a lie is way better than the truth!

Do I really care?!!

It's a ranting session. Don't read if you are not interested!

"I don't care!"

It's a lie. It's a lie that I keep telling myself. And no matter how ignorant I try to be, no matter how many "whatever moments" I show to others, I still do. I can't sleep at night. I can't focus in class. I can't stay up to date with my friends. And I can't keep pretending that I don't care even if that is all I feel!!!!

But deep inside, I do. And it's driving me crazy.

I just lost my drive. I don't feel like going on anymore. I need a freaking break!!!!

I hate whatever is making me feel this way. Stupid!

Do I really care?!!

Thank you

Guess who finished reading another English book:D?? yes, humbly, it's me:D I can't describe how happy I feel about it..It's been long, like really long since a book captured..my senses...:)

I borrowed this book from a dear friend of mine about a year ago, only read few pages at first...waited for the reading-mood to kick in but it was all lost...so I left it...came back again after some time, still no result:(

Apparently, all i needed is self-determination that I actually love reading and, to be honest, I really missed it:)

Joyce, has had an accident and somehow she has all this knowledge of stuff she never knew about before. A sense of Deja vu everywhere she goes. And she can't explain it. And there is Justin, now divorced, who has this constant feeling of something missing inside of him. It's too powerful what a "thank you" letter can do...

It is a lovely read if you are into romance:)

Right now, the next book I want to read is Daddy-Long-Legs. A book I never knew it existed. The story of one of my favorite childhood cartoons, Judy Abbott.

Thank you

Days of my Summer Holiday-3

I have failed pharmacology!

For the first time in my life, I have failed a course!

I don’t regret it though. It was smart.1- I needed the whole world to see me in a way different from the-one-with-the-perfect-grades, simply because, it is no longer true! It was just hard to keep up with the studies. I get bored quickly. And God, drugs’ names are sooo hard to memorize:-/ 2- Failing the last, and most important course, and repeating it in summer did me GOOD this year. Everyone who failed knows the most important drugs that we need to know better than anyone else:D 3- I had to fail. My grades were sooooo bad that it would look so pathetic if I “just” passed! 4- I just had to fail. No explanation needed!

It's true my parents had a hard time absorbing it,especially my mom. I do feel bad for letting them down but at some point, it really had to happen!!

Days of my Summer Holiday-3

Days of my Summer Holiday-2

Wed, 28-Jul-10

Well, I thought I’ll be having really interesting days in here to blog about, but oh God, Hypertension and Diabetes Clinic is SO BORING!!!! I know for sure I don’t wana end up in such a place!

And almost every other day is boring too:-/ I don’t wana sound lame, but there is hardly any patient here! And everyone likes it!! They are glad that they don’t have to work. They are all relaxed, sipping tea, and exchanging stories about their kids K I would have gone to another health center, a busier one, if I had known that I don’t need to be in the same center where I live.

On the brighter side, I have made friends there. And truthfully, ignoring the fact that I hardly learnt anything, I have enjoyed my stay there. People were really sweetJ

Days of my Summer Holiday-2